Holtz-Stosch GmbH – Stuttgart: Language and Translation Services for International Business Communication

My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Ein Witz von einem guten Freund:

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.”

My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that….. 2:30 am?!    Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, ‘This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?’ ‘Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish on the other days!’